Tag: love

post-yawn purity

you used to yawn

tears would puddle underneath your eyes

and there wasn’t a single wrinkle of sadness on your face

just a warmth of mock innocence

 

i remember wanting to squeeze the life out of you

absorb your moment of post-yawn purity

and have that warmth burn my chest

 

that’s how i have to think about you

it’s what you are now

“post-yawn purity”

©Steven Cuenca

 

 

You’re a Sun, Babe

you’re a sun, babe.

you have fire underneath your skin,
i felt it, it burned me.
but like a masochistic fuck,
i pulled you closer.

people like me don’t last long.
love will kill me, i know that.

but there’s no better way to die,
than to be engulfed by a sun,
adding fuel to her flame,
forgotten in her beauty.

so following the footsteps
of dear icarus and every
stupid little moth who
played too long near the light,

i will hold you for as long as i can
until i am all but vaguely remembered,
like a song in the distance.

“You’re a Sun, Babe”

©Steven Cuenca

 

 

 

Climbing

i used to think i fell in love with you
but now i know i climbed into it

i climbed so fucking high,
where the air was thin
and you were nowhere in sight

are you afraid of heights?
did your arms grow tired?
maybe the farther up i went
the more discouraged you grew
or maybe climbing just isn’t your thing

whatever it was,
i’m way up here
lonely in love

i guess the trick to being happy is
climbing slower than the other person
keeping close to the ground
so that you can jump off at any moment

i’m so high at this point
it’ll take me years to fall out of love
and at the moment of impact
i’d be destroyed

so i might as well keep climbing

“Climbing”

©Steven Cuenca

 

Ice Cream is My Christ

dsc_0708
Feeling Holy and Creamy at the Washington Temple Church of God in Christ in Brooklyn

Ice Cream is my Christ Cream

my Ice Christ

a spoon full of sin

a spoon for my sins

my Christ on a cross

a cross. A cross between

peanut-butter and chocolate

a marriage of flavor divine

a marriage of love

of cream

Ice Cream is my Jesus

my Savior, I savor the

sweetness of life

a life of sweetness

of cream, of Christ

i pray that this pint will

play its part in prophesy

procuring peace pure,

pure joy in my tummy

“Ice Cream is My Christ”

©Steven Cuenca

Impulse

dsc_055
Saying, “fuck yaaaa,” in Bushwick

My best friend recently told me, in one of her “general rules of being,” that people should not act on impulse. She said this clearly, and with no room for compromise. People instead, she’d argue, should think about every decision they make, especially big ones, and imagine all the possible negative outcomes. After doing that little calculation, one would act according to the safest route.

Play it safe. 

What a shitty way to live a life. Living in fear of failure. In fear of rejection. In fear of getting hurt. It makes sense, however, and there’s no arguing against the appeal to living safely and living the way ‘one should.’ And you can live and die having lived safely and maybe you wont regret having missed opportunities of greatness or happiness. But just fucking imagine that for a second. Building your whole existence up just to survive comfortably. It’s against our nature to be comfortable. We’re born into suffering, the second you come out of the womb you’re crying and in pain and fucking wishing yourself back to nonexistence. Every day we’re closer to dying. Our bodies and minds are imperfect, we’re being poisoned by man and the machine. This isn’t supposed to be easy. So don’t play it safe. Go fucking head first and say, “fuck you world, I’ll find happiness in all of this shit.” Be impulsive, act on love not calculation.

My favorite film is Good Will Hunting. It’s a story that favors impulse. A genius, Will, is aimless in life and is complacent in bumming around with his buddies. After getting figured out by a professor, he’s thrown into a life of math and is eventually offered big time jobs. He also meets a girl who he falls for, but because of those calculations my best friend is fond of, he decides that she isn’t good for him. She moves away to Cali and he’s left with his genius, his dumb friends, and his work. He can safely navigate his life at this point, and a lot of people would settle with the money, job, and comfort. But he doesn’t, he drops his entire fucking life and goes to, “see about a girl.” The last scene is Will driving towards California, towards uncertainty, with the off-chance that she is worth it. That’s impulse, that’s living.

I’d rather die having followed my heart through this existence than following the rules of the world. I’m gonna be hurt, I’ll fail and be humiliated, I’ll put myself out there just to be ignored, I’ll get sick and injured. I’ll do all these things before I play it safe. And the few moments of love, the moments of joy and fear and ecstasy, the moments of madness and discovery, those few moments will be worth it all. Impulse is letting your heart lead. Impulse is freeing yourself from the black and white. Impulse is love animated, it’s how I will choose to live. Impulse will be the story of me.

-Steve

 

 

 

Haiku IV

dsc_1036s
Bushwick, Brooklyn: ©Steven Cuenca


still alive today

i don’t think she noticed it

guess i’ll live louder

©Steven Cuenca