the creases of your lips

Apples 11
@snapshotsteve

i was so high
that i saw jesus in the creases
of your lips
and i laughed like the
little man i wish i was.

we were so high
i felt close to my father,
not the one who stepped away,
but the one that passed away.
i saw jesus in the creases
of his lips
and i laughed like the
little boy he had met
when i was four.

we were so high
that i thought you loved me again
and my eyes were dislodged from my face
and they were floating easy
and they looked down at what we were
and my eyeballs couldn’t laugh
but they knew well enough to roll
so they rolled away
until the pinks and the reds of
my under-eyes showed
and my body thought it was
seeing jesus on your face
but my eyes were watching
the starry night sky through
the window of my car.

“creases of your lips”
©Steven Cuenca

 

 

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scratching

zebra 6
@snapshotsteve

my body bleeds,
my body itches
when i think of you

and i’m scratching every night

and nothing feels worse than picking scabs the morning after
and nothing feels better than picking scabs the morning after

the pain i feel
when the breeze hits my open flesh
makes it hard to walk,
but i get there still

“scratching”
©Steven Cuenca

a spring poem

zebra 2
ig: @snapshotsteve

i felt the sun’s warmth for the first time this year.
i was driving to your place
and i felt Love on the top of my cheeks;
an unspecific Love.

there was butt rock playing on the radio,
i tucked it neatly behind my ears.
i wanted to scream, i wanted to cry,
i wanted the drive to last forever.

they think that god and Love have faces.
well, let me know when you meet them,
’cause i’ve never felt closer to holy spirit
than i did driving under the spring sunlight
trying my hardest not to crash
to eternalize the moment.

“a spring poem”
©Steven Cuenca

anymore

she said, “you need to give a shit,”
i told her i don’t need anything anymore

she told me i’m an asshole,
i told her i’m not anything anymore

any more alcohol, she said,
“you won’t be any fun anymore”

i told her i don’t give a shit,
probably said some asshole things,
cracked another spiteful drink,
and watched myself implode

i’ve never cared so much about anything before
any more of this,
and i wont have any more to give
anymore

“anymore” 
©Steven Cuenca

 

clear cut corners

Playing 16
on the road again @snapshotsteve

life used to have clear cut corners
and it was colored-in proper
with familiar shapes
and a brick road with our deaths
at the end of it

then you fucked it up,
and now i’m walking in a fog;
the colors have smudged into blacks and greys
the lack feels great
i have no interest of what’s in front of me

the road to death is probably growing closer
i’ll start jogging,
maybe i’ll run into someone special
or maybe i’ll fall into a hole
that smells like bitter beers
and back aches,
maybe the hole’s so deep
that my back breaks
and i have to get used to looking up
instead of looking at what’s ahead of me

i’ve been walking towards death all this time
but when i look up all i see is life,
no ones ever told me i couldn’t fly
and if they ever did,
i’m sure they’d just want someone
to hold their hand while they
walked on fog-patterned bricks
to death

life used to have clear cut corners
then you fucked it up
and now i can fly

“clear cut corners”
©Steven Cuenca

2017

Playing 19
one of the happy bits, @snapshotsteve

2017 started with
dancing drunk.
she and i were broken up and faking it,
at least she was.

the ball dropped–
on my fucking face

what a start, what a start

i cried in my mother’s arms
my brother’s arms
my puppies’s paws
i cried playing video games
i cried to the musix

doo doo doo so sad so sad la la la so sad

2017 eased up on me a little
gave me a car in my name
a job
and a new best friend.
it gave me rhythmic thoughts
and the drive to translate them.
it gave me some of my favorite memories
in this life,

thank you ’17!

’17 figured it could fuck the sad out of me
13 different attempts to be specific,
i don’t remember half their names;
trying to medicate with ha ha has
and hoe hoe hotels.

self-destructive and selfish

2017 had a lot of funny jokes, like:
CRANBERRY JUICE CANNOT CURE
YOUR CHLAMYDIA

a shot and a pill did

you were the last person i got sick.
i felt so bad, i figured i’d go celibate
for the rest of my life,
but you never left my side
and I don’t know why,
but here you are, 3 months later.

my last gift from ’17

“2017”
©Steven Cuenca

 

glass broken

zebra 8

my love is broken glass
don’t step on me
just watch me sparkle like a fake diamond

don’t try to put me back together
i’m not a jigsaw puzzle
just watch me sparkle like a fake diamond

don’t sweep me off the ground
i am where i fall
just watch me sparkle like a fake diamond

my love my love my love is glass broken–

wait! come back!

i lied, you can step on me, if you want
listen to my Crunch.

piece me back together however you’d like
maybe i’ll be better this time

sweep me off the ground
i’ve been here long enough

and please, please, please please
just watch me sparkle for a moment

i am beauty broken,
but i am beautiful
i am.

“glass broken”
©Steven Cuenca